Feeling Blue about my Angels…

August 17, 2008


As I watched them walk down the walkway to the plane I felt very sad.

Over the last week, I have come to realize just how much like me they really are.

Two little mini-me’s.

Which is a little scary in some ways. Are they going to struggle like I have to understand this thing we call life. Will they have as hard a time finding their soulmate as I have had. How will they handle the disappointments and all the bad things that will be put on their plate. Will they be better than I have been? I guess I can only hope so.

My pride doesn’t let me ask my father for advice. Will they feel like they can ask for advice from me? And, other than knowing what not to do, how good would my advice be anyway?

Coming back to my condo and being alone is where, I’m sure, these feelings are coming from. I think about the smile of excitement on their faces yesterday as we watched the Blue Angels scream by so close to each other that one tiny mistake could have been fatal.

I feel like one of those Blue Angels sometimes.

One tiny little mistake as a parent and the results could be disastrous. But, yet, the show must go on and life rushes past you with a sonic boom and there isn’t any time to think about things, you just react and hope the crowd enjoys the show. And that, at the end of the day, you safely park your jet back in the hanger.

I know this blue feeling will go away. But I will miss those two little guys till I see them walking back up that walkway. They will be smiling and excited to be back in the big city. And I will still be trying to hold the tight formation that it takes to be a parent.


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