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Hyphanation…

September 3, 2008

 

I watched the RNC tonight. Something I promised myself I wouldn’t do but, being the low will-powered sap that I am, I relented (Mainly because the Cubs were losing AGAIN and I couldn’t stand to watch).

So as I sat here and listened to the speeches that I am sure were written by some guy who, two years ago was hoping his blog got more comments than the day before, that I began to wonder…

Whatever happened to the days when the guy who had the biggest canoe got named Chief? Or the Tribe-member with the funniest monkey or the largest nose was appointed as Big-Man-On-Campus?

(Why am I using so many hyphens?)

I think those days were easier.

First of all, there weren’t any conventions. Which means there weren’t any riots or protests. Or if there was a protest it was when Boom-Chukka-Lukka refused to share his peccary that he brought down with a lucky strike of his javelin with any of the other tribe-members to show his distaste for the fact that He-Who-Walks-With-Mega-Loin-Cloth was the next-in-line for Village Chief.

But even then, Boom-Chukka-Lukka understood the rules. It wasn’t  like they got re-invented every four years and the people of the village sat there all like “WTF just happened? How in the Amazon did I just end up with a choice between Weasel-Eyes and Picks-His-Toes-In-Public for Village Chief?”

Our system is the best in the world when it is kept pure and simple. But I think the last election where that happened was back when people still thought ginger-root was the cure for cancer…

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One comment

  1. Wait, ginger root *doesn’t* cure cancer?

    Shit.



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